Seeing successful people makes me envy. I wish I could be like them or much better, greater than what they had accomplish. Am I asking too much? What else can I do? I am not intelligent, only on a mediocre level, I don’t have an angelic voice to serenade people nor a happy feet to move to the beat, I am also terrible in numbers. I have nothing to be proud of myself, no achievements either. Why is it so easy for others to get what they want? They have all the luck in the world, and its making me filled with envy. Why is it even if I did my best, I always fall on my knees? Why is it not sufficient? Why can’t I go forward no matter how hard I try? Am I the most evil person to be punished like this? I don’t have any idea why I was born, nor why am I on this planet earth. I can’t find myself, this place makes me feel like I don’t fit in. It’s so irritating, it’s killing me softly. What’s the use of being here if I don’t have anything to do with my life? Am I just a kind of decoration here? a wallflower? Can I still continue my journey into my desired destination? I don’t know what to expect anymore and I couldn’t care any longer. I’m so overly used to this kind of situation. It’s making me sick. I am angry at myself, I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it.
My other self is telling me this, my enemy is none other than myself, my worst enemy of all time. I won’t let it ruin me. May the best of us win ‘cause I will fight till the end no matter what.