Confession (01)

I was really feeling down and all that, so I decided to have some walk, directing me to my friend’s house. I really need someone to talk to. I only have few friends and I’m satisfied with it. Talking to a friend is somewhat relieved me from distress. Somehow I forgot my sadness. I was able to voice out myself and I finally laugh. My mind is stressed out these past few months and I forget how to enjoy life. There is something wrong with me and I’m aware it’s not healthy. I am beginning to feel a little bit more depress again. I’m starting to think a lot, I am being too sensitive over things I encounter. I’m almost breaking down. I am holding back, concerning something that happens and cannot let go. It keeps on recurring in my mind. I thought my depression has come to an end but not really. I am fighting this dark stage of my life right now. I’d come to think of my existence, my worth as a person, and my purpose, if there is. I am suffering an abnormal state of physiological inactivity. I don’t know how I’m still surviving despite of this. I am frustrated of my own hopes, discouraged to repeated failures.  I’m trying to get rid all of my negative vibes, but the more I force myself to do this, is the more I’m getting closer to vulnerability.

Experiencing this, I learn how to be strong and I became a mature person than ever. Why? It’s because I managed to stand still amidst matter difficult to cope with. The story of my life doesn’t end here. There are greater things to come. What I’m going through today doesn’t mean I’ll stop living my life. I don’t know how far I could go in this battle, my struggle towards a goal I want to achieve. Someday, I will surpass this intricate unsettled thing. I don’t know when will this be, but as long as my family and friends are there, I can be assure, i can outdo what I’m facing today.

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